Pissed
by AndreeaRaducan
Summary: JJ's pissed, Spencer can't figure out why, and they have a dinner with some important bureaucrats. JJ/Reid
1. Saturday Night

**A/N: So, I wanted to write a humour fic that was actually funny. This one came to me while I was trolling the humour/JJ fics.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM, or any of its characters or affiliates.**

Spencer was distracted from his reading by JJ storming into the lounge room and snatching the TV remote out of his hand. Closing the book, he sat up, while she threw herself onto the couch opposite.

"Ok, what's wr-"

"Nothing!" JJ snapped, as she surfed through the channels. Spencer raised his hands in an act of surrender.

"Alright, calm down," he muttered, lying back down with his book in his hand. After a few minutes of trying to block out JJ's muttered curses, he got up and left the room. Entering the bedroom, he found peace and quiet, and sat on the bed to continue reading.

xxx

"I mean, we just have to go to this stupid dinner, because _Chief Strauss_ says so. Who wants to? It's so fu-"

"JJ, calm down, you're going to give yourself a nosebleed," Spencer said hurriedly, not wanting to hear the string of swear words that were bound to have exited her mouth. He was at a total loss. He just couldn't figure out what had JJ so pissed off.

"I can't calm down! I have nothing to wear! Oh, and we've run out of bloody Midol!" JJ exclaimed, going into the bathroom and slamming the door. Spencer's head was spinning. Nothing to wear? Midol? Seriously, what kind of riddle was this? Spencer was about to knock on the bathroom door when it opened again.

"Where are the tampons!" JJ asked, her voice as calm as she could manage. Without even waiting for an answer, she stormed off to look somewhere else.

"Tampons? Midol?" Spencer muttered under his breath. Then everything fell into place. JJ was on her period. Following her, he walked out into the lounge room, and found her rifling through her go bag.

"JJ, baby, calm down. We can pick some up on the way," Spencer said gently. The look on JJ's face when she turned around made him want to run away and hide.

"Whatever! I still have nothing to wear!" she cried, standing up. Spencer went into the bedroom and opened the wardrobe, flicking through the dresses that JJ had hanging in there. Finding the little red satin dress that he loved on her, he shut the wardrobe, and got the fright of his life upon seeing that JJ had been standing there the whole time.

"No," JJ said flatly, a frown crossing her pretty face yet again.

"JJ, you look beautiful in this," Spencer encouraged, immediately regretting it. He could've sworn she was almost breathing fire.

"How can I look beautiful when I feel like the ugliest person to walk this earth! My hair is disgusting, my skin is revolting, my nails suck! And my uterus feels like it's doing some heavy weights!" JJ yelled. Spencer grimaced at the description. Laying the dress on the bed, he moved closer to her, going to pull her into a hug.

"Don't even think about it!" JJ cried, retreating to the bathroom. Spencer gave up on being scared of her outbursts. Groaning in frustration, he knocked on the door.

"JJ, please...we need to leave in an hour," he called. A loud thud told him that JJ had thrown herself against the door to stop him from opening it.

"I'm not coming out," she called back.

"Fine. Get chewed out on Monday for not coming. You can stay in there, and I'll go to the dinner," Spencer told her, before moving away so he could get dressed.

"Fine!" JJ yelled back. The shower turned on just seconds later.

As Spencer smoothed his shirt down, the bathroom door unlocked and opened. JJ came out wrapped in a towel, her hair wet and tangled.

"We're leaving in half an hour," Spencer told her.

"Yeah, ok," JJ huffed. Spencer left the room while she got dressed.

About 20 minutes later, JJ came out of the room, in her red dress, with her hair done up, and her make up finished.

"You ready?" Spencer asked.

"Yes," JJ mumbled.

xxx

After a stop at the store to grab some tampons and a travel bottle of Midol, they arrived at the restaurant. Emily and Hotch were waiting out front as Spencer and JJ got out of the car. JJ stormed right past them, earning bewildered looks from both Hotch and Emily.

"What's up with her?" Emily asked, looking to Spencer for an explanation.

"It's...uh...that time of the month," he said.

"Wow. So that's why she gets so pissed off when I do one tiny thing wrong," Emily said.

"We better go after her, before she rips Strauss' head off and loses her job," Hotch said, walking quickly towards the entrance of the restaurant.

Upon entering the restaurant, JJ was nowhere to be seen.

"She's in the bathroom," Garcia explained as she walked up to them. The three accepted this, and went to join the group at the table (including Strauss and the Director). Spencer, Emily and Hotch prepared themselves for what JJ's attitude might hold.

xxx

"And so I said, well if you had noticed that at the third hole, the monkey wouldn't have stolen your credit card!" the Director finished, earning laughs from everyone but JJ, who rolled her eyes. Spencer stood up, and grabbed JJ's wrist.

"Excuse us," he said, pulling her away from the table. The Director and Strauss waved it off. Charlie Jenkins, a highly regarded chief of another unit, chipped in.

"I can beat that. When I was in Thailand on vacation, a monkey stole my phone and texted my wife..."

Spencer pulled JJ into a corner, near the kitchen.

"I know you don't feel your best right now, but could you at least attempt to be polite?" he asked.

"Yeah, ok, I'll try," JJ muttered. Spencer yanked her wrist, getting her attention.

"JJ, I'm serious," he said.

"Ok, ok, Jesus H Christ!" JJ hissed, going back to the table.

"Agent Jareau, we were just discussing the time you had to go to Mississippi to sort out a media drama," Strauss said as she sat down.

"Oh yes...some jerk in the police station leaked all the details of this serial killer that they were dealing with, and it caused a crisis. In my opinion, every single one of the officers there was an asshole," JJ said, a smile on her face. Hotch and Morgan looked at each other across the table and nodded. Getting up, they walked around behind JJ and lifted her easily out of her chair.

"Hey!" she exclaimed.

"JJ, you're coming with us," Morgan told her. Spencer followed them as they dragged her out of the restaurant.

"I do apologise. I don't know what's gotten into her tonight," Strauss said to Charlie and the Director.

xxx

Leaning against the car, wrapped in Spencer's jacket, JJ rested her head on Spencer's shoulder. Morgan and Hotch stood against the wall, talking quietly.

"I'm really sorry. I get a bit out of control when it's that time of the month," JJ said softly.

"It's alright. You'll just have to deal with Strauss on Monday," Spencer replied just as softly. Looking up, he saw that the others were heading towards them. JJ straightened up as well, as Strauss marched straight towards her.

"My office. 7:30 Monday morning. And you better have a damn good excuse for your attitude tonight," she hissed, before going to her car.

"What did I tell you?" Spencer whispered, as he opened the passenger door to allow JJ in.

xxx

Spencer came into the lounge room, carrying two mugs. Placing them on the coffee table, he left again, and came back with two plates. One had cookies, the other had pieces of milk chocolate.

"A little birdie told me you get a craving for sugary, chocolate snacks when you're on your period," he said, sitting down next to JJ, with the chocolate in his hand.

"And this is why I love you," JJ said, kissing him softly. Spencer put the plate on the table, and pulled JJ closer to him.

"Please tell me...when did you start?" he groaned, feeling arousal deep in his core. JJ grinned evilly.

"This morning"

**A/N: So, how was that one shot? Anyways, back to Compass.**

**Please review!**

**SQ215 xxx**


	2. Monday Morning

**A/N: Whatif-ifonly inspired me for another chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds.**

JJ walked towards Strauss' office, tapping the tips of fingers together nervously. She was still a little moody, and was unsure of what to say to Strauss. Knocking on the door of Strauss' office, she took a deep breath.

"Come in," Strauss called. JJ opened the door and stepped inside.

"Ah, Agent Jareau. Take a seat," Strauss said, closing the file she was reading. JJ sat down in front of Strauss.

"Agent Jareau, would you care to explain your behaviour on Saturday night?" Strauss said. JJ racked her brain for an excuse.

"Well...you see, I'd had a bad day," she provided lamely.

"So had I, but I still maintained a polite attitude. Chief Jenkins and Director Patterson were quite astounded with your attitude," Strauss said. JJ felt like a child.

"I...I don't know, I really don't know," she said. Strauss took her glasses off and sat them on the table. Standing up, she drew in a deep breath.

"Agent Jareau, we work for the Federal Bureau of Investigation! We are expected to maintain a polite and friendly attitude, which is what Chief Jenkins and the Director were expecting! Now, we are all being looked down on, because of your behaviour!" she cried out. JJ stood as well.

"Maybe I should just go-"

"Agent Jareau, I would like to hear a legitimate excuse for your actions on Saturday!" Strauss said angrily. JJ was beginning to wonder how much longer she would be able to keep herself from yelling back at Strauss.

"Agent Jareau, I would like an answer somet-"

"I had just started my period, ok?" JJ exclaimed, losing her temper. Strauss froze.

"What?" she asked, not sure if she had heard correctly.

"I. Was. On. My. Period," JJ repeated slowly, sitting back down.

"Agent Jareau, I'm not stupid, you don't have to speak to me like that," Strauss said, sitting down as well.

"Well...," JJ sighed, shaking her head.

"Agent Jareau...I actually completely understand. I used to get really bad mood swings-"

"I, really, don't need to know," JJ said, standing up. Strauss nodded.

"Fine. You're excused," she said. JJ stood and left the office as quickly as possible, almost knocking over Spencer, who was waiting outside.

"Hey. You ok?" he asked. JJ shook her head.

"I'm even more pissed off now than I was on Saturday," she replied, walking down the hall. Spencer grinned.

"I don't think that's possible"

**A/N: Short, I know. Thanks for practically writing the chapter in my head Whatif-ifonly! You're the best!**

**SQ215 xxx**


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